Mickey's Fine Malt Liquor Review

Name: Mickey's Fine Malt Liquor
Brewed by: Miller Brewing Company
Style: Malt Liquor
ABV: 5.6%

Every once in a while, I like to look at beers that have either a questionable (at best) reputation or something that I very well know will taste bad. That's why for this review, I'm changing things up a bit by tackling a beer that has a fairly low opinion in the craft beer community, to put it mildly. That's right, I'm reviewing Mickey's Fine Malt Liquor from the Miller Brewing Company; All of it contained in a 40oz "shatter-proof" green plastic bottle that I picked up for $2.

Now some of you may be wondering why exactly I'm reviewing this? The same reason why I review beers like Molson XXX and Miller Fortune: I review it so you don't have to deal with the experience of drinking a bad beer.

And in case you're wondering: No, I didn't drink the entire thing.

Mickey's pours a very clear pale yellow color with a soapy white head. There's no lacing to speak of on the sides of the glass and the visible carbonation is quite high.

The nose consists mainly of cardboard, pale malts, cooked adjuncts and a very mild but noticeable skunkiness. I'm not picking up on any boozy scents which I'm actually pretty surprised about.

The flavor is mainly just pale malts, some booziness, cardboard, cooked veggies, adjuncts like rice and cereal grains and a fairly dry aftertaste. The skunky flavor does start to become a bit more noticeable as it warms up. The body is fairly light but, as expected, it's got some fairly high carbonation.

To it's credit this isn't as bad as I expected it to be. At the most it's like a less intense version of Bud Light Platinum. Don't get me wrong, it still does taste pretty rank and there's no getting around that but at the same time, I've had much worse than this. My advice though would be to spend an extra dollar or so on a bomber of Sierra Nevada Pale Ale instead; You'll get much more of your money's worth with that.

Mickey's Fine Malt Liquor - 3.5/10

Miller Fortune Review

Name: Miller Fortune
Style: Amber/Vienna Lager
ABV: 6.9%

Today I have a special review lined up and that is Miller Fortune from The Miller Brewing Company, which was just released within the past month or so. This is MillerCoors' answer to Bud Light Platinum and, more namely, Budweiser Black Crown. Both of the latter beers mentioned have a higher-than-normal ABV for a marco-lager.

About a month or so before it's release, I was seeing posters for this beer in stores everywhere; Like it was the newest upcoming release from Michael Bay. I have never seen such a huge push for in-store marketing like there was for Miller Fortune.

Now before I start, I'm going to break my normal rule of keeping a neutral tone and just throw this out here: I did not like this beer and anyone who is curious to try it out should avoid this at all costs.

Miller Fortune starts out with a clear amber color with a amount of high carbonation. The head is rather fizzy which settles to a small filmy appearance and there is no lacing left behind.

The nose itself is actually quite promising with Munich and pale malts, mild hoppiness, barley, caramel with some minor but noticeable boozy notes. Booziness aside, this actually has the aroma that is fairly typical of a Vienna Lager.

Flavor-wise, it's a much different story. In what I can only describe as "bizarre," the flavor is mixture of cardboard, barley, metallic rust, very strong booziness and Munich Malts. It's almost like they made a malt liquor with munich malts

The body is fairly lightweight but, as expected, the carbonation is very heavy and intense. As you can probably guess, this does not sit well on the palate.

I may not be a huge fan of the regular offerings of Bud, Miller, or Coors but if someone offers it to me at a party, I would not turn it down. Miller Fortune has the rare distinction of venturing into Molson XXX territory as being one of the beers that I would turn down at a party if I was offered it for free. You aren't missing anything by having this, trust me.

Miller Fortune - 1/10

Miller Genuine Draft Review

Don't think you'll get away from me that easily, Miller Genuine Draft. Just because I reviewed your sister beer, Miller Lite, doesn't mean I forgot about you! Though that usually seems to be the case with alot of casual beer drinkers because the majority of the top selling beers in America are mostly lighter beers. In fact, MGD doesn't even break the Top 20. I snagged an MGD from one of our softball games for reviewing purposes and have waited about a week to finally review it.

When Miller Lite was introduced in 1973, I'm not sure if people realized it would go on to be one of the   highest selling beers of all time. It's younger sister, Miller Genuine Draft, didn't hit the markets until 1986 and I believe it was released in response to the growing popularity of Budweiser. Despite not being Miller's top seller, it manages to have a solid customer base and they have continued to make it for a while so let's have a look at it.

It pours a clear pale yellow color with a surprisingly foamy head, good lacing retention, and a high amount of carbonation.

The nose consists mainly of pale malts, cereal grains, corn and a slight yeasty scent. The same can be said about the flavor with more an of adjunct sweetness and a cooked veggie flavor. The aftertaste is fairly dry so there's no offensive taste lingering in your mouth.

The body is light but a bit heavier than Miller Lite and the carbonation, while still strong, is not as intense as Miller Lite's

If I had to choose between MGD and Miller Lite, MGD would be the clear winner because the flavor, smell and overall body are much better than Miller Lite's. Does that make it an outstanding beer? No, but it makes it preferable at the very most.

Like PBR and Miller Lite, drink it from the can; Trust me on this one. It's better that you don't get a whiff of the aroma.

Miller Lite - 4/10

Miller Lite Review

Using my incredible psychic powers, I can project your current thoughts onto the space below. Don't believe me? Watch this:


"Why are you reviewing this? We've all had it before!!!!!"


Yes, I can safely say the majority of beer drinkers out there have had Miller Lite at least once in their lives even though some of us will not admit to it. EVER. I'll admit to drinking it, even now, if it's the only thing available that is! Whether it's at a softball match, a hockey game or a bonfire; You will never see me turning down beer.

Miller Lite is one of the most widely sold beers in the world, but is out paced by it's distant cousin, Bud Light. Still when it comes to beer, Miller Lite is a heavyweight...at least when it comes to sales.

For me, Miller Lite brings back memories of a simpler time: being a broke college student! Miller Lite was the cheapest beer that we could find in mass quantities. Back then things were simpler, we didn't care about how it tasted, how it was made or what kind of hops (or lack thereof) were used nor did we worry about the crippling amount of student debt we would all incur one day. We cared about one thing when drinking Miller Lite: That it was cheap beer!

Now that it's been a few years since those times and my palette is a bit more refined, I'm going to approach Miller Lite from a critical point of view. Marketing gimmicks aside of course....

Why thank you! I always wanted an unnecessary porthole to help make my drinking experience more enjoyable.

Despite the label on the can that says "Great Pilsner Taste", this isn't a Pilsner and tastes nothing like one. Miller Lite is an American Adjunct Lager with 4.2% ABV

To start off, it pours a very clear and pale yellow color with tons of carbonation. The head is quite fizzy with a bit of foam to it and it finishes rather clean despite some lacing early on.

The nose is rather skunky with cooked corn, cereal grains, yeasts and a bit of malt sweetness thrown in.  The smell gets more offensive the more it warms up, not surprisingly. The flavor is pretty much the same but the flavors aren't as noticeable; This could also be because it's got a very dry aftertaste to it but  much like the flavor, it starts to taste worse the more it warms up.

The body is light and the carbonation is too heavy for it's own good, so not really a surprise there.

Even if you are a casual beer drinker, you know exactly what you are getting when you buy this. Much like Pabst, Miller Lite is best enjoyed straight from the can because if you pour into an open glass, everything about it goes further south than it already is. The difference between PBR and Miller is that PBR only gains a bit of skunkiness after an extended period while Miller tends to gain alot of skunkiness after a short period of time. Drink Miller Lite if it's the only thing there, otherwise seek out other options instead


Miller Lite - 2/10