Mickey's Fine Malt Liquor Review

Name: Mickey's Fine Malt Liquor
Brewed by: Miller Brewing Company
Style: Malt Liquor
ABV: 5.6%

Every once in a while, I like to look at beers that have either a questionable (at best) reputation or something that I very well know will taste bad. That's why for this review, I'm changing things up a bit by tackling a beer that has a fairly low opinion in the craft beer community, to put it mildly. That's right, I'm reviewing Mickey's Fine Malt Liquor from the Miller Brewing Company; All of it contained in a 40oz "shatter-proof" green plastic bottle that I picked up for $2.

Now some of you may be wondering why exactly I'm reviewing this? The same reason why I review beers like Molson XXX and Miller Fortune: I review it so you don't have to deal with the experience of drinking a bad beer.

And in case you're wondering: No, I didn't drink the entire thing.

Mickey's pours a very clear pale yellow color with a soapy white head. There's no lacing to speak of on the sides of the glass and the visible carbonation is quite high.

The nose consists mainly of cardboard, pale malts, cooked adjuncts and a very mild but noticeable skunkiness. I'm not picking up on any boozy scents which I'm actually pretty surprised about.

The flavor is mainly just pale malts, some booziness, cardboard, cooked veggies, adjuncts like rice and cereal grains and a fairly dry aftertaste. The skunky flavor does start to become a bit more noticeable as it warms up. The body is fairly light but, as expected, it's got some fairly high carbonation.

To it's credit this isn't as bad as I expected it to be. At the most it's like a less intense version of Bud Light Platinum. Don't get me wrong, it still does taste pretty rank and there's no getting around that but at the same time, I've had much worse than this. My advice though would be to spend an extra dollar or so on a bomber of Sierra Nevada Pale Ale instead; You'll get much more of your money's worth with that.

Mickey's Fine Malt Liquor - 3.5/10

Molson XXX Review

Name: Molson XXX
Style: Malt Liquor
ABV: 7.3%

When I picked this up as part of a mix-a-six, I wasn't really sure what to expect. On the front it says "Super Premium Beer" with a fairly high ABV of 7.3%. I figured it was Molson's answer to Bud Light Platinum. Upon looking this up, I discovered that I had purchased a Malt Liquor. You really don't see them in 12 oz. bottles much with the slight exception of Mickey's, which come in those 8 oz. ”Grenade” bottles.

Aside from the name & information above, I really don't have other information about this beer, so let's dive right in shall we?

Molson XXX pours a clear pale yellow color with a filmy head and a high amount of visible carbonation. In terms of lacing, there isn't anything here.

The nose starts off with a very powerful boozy smell with some cereal grains, pale malts, cardboard, grassiness and some skunk. Well, it for sure smells like a malt liquor!

The flavor is a cross between burnt cardboard, pale malts, booziness, grassiness and skunkiness (If it wasn't a word before, it is now!). Oh dear god, it's like they took the boozy & skunky scents and made it into a flavor!

The body is fairly light and crisp but the carbonation is very strong and it really doesn't matter much at this point.

If there is a beer underworld, then this deserves to be cast down into the furthest depths. This is probably the worst thing to come out of Canada since Justin Bieber and that's saying alot.  I've came up with a motto for Molson XXX in the event it is horrible and it is very much so. So here it is:

Molson XXX, it SuXXX.

Molson XXX - 1/10